downstairs

 Sparrow likes to say she has OCD,  but really she does not.  Sparrow likes to say she keeps a clean and orderly home, she does not.  She tends to be on the lazy side.

I am the one who keeps her home in order, I guess I am the one with OCD, not her.

Growing up in strict Navy/Air Force homes, beds and rooms were to always be kept clean, made up and everything in its place.  If something was played with an forgotten to put back in its place, she would be punished.

Her dad, although I really liked him, was a "white glove" officer.  He wore those gloves when inspecting her and her brothers bedrooms, and the entire house.  He was VERY strict about cleanliness and order.   He never physically punished her like her mother and first step dad did, but he would be very stern, and punishments were in place, for example:  taking the item left out and putting it away in the garage, or being grounded or things like that....where as in her other home, with her mother, if she left things out, she was beaten to within an inch of her life....she was punished way more than she should have been...but, because of me, the punishments became less and less.  I learned what was acceptable and what to do and how to do it, so she would not be in trouble.

To this day, I am the one that makes sure her home is in order and "clean".  There are no punishments if dishes don't get done, but, it bothers me, and so I do them because "that is just what I do, my job"....

As far as Kevin moving in....it is hard for me to be in a cluttered dirty home, I instantly want to start cleaning up, throwing items away, and organizing shelves, etc...but, thing is, the apartment is his and he should live the way he wants to live and I need to accept that.  I can feel her anxiety when in a "chaotic space" and if I cannot alleviate it by "fixing" the issue, then I leave, we leave and don't come back.  It is not worth her getting all PTSD about someone else's dirty home. She cannot control, neither can I, what decisions other people make....but, I can keep her away from those situations, thus keeping her grounded.

It will be nice, with Kevin downstairs.  If they want to visit, they have balconies, and her apartment is one flight up.  No driving.   I like the ideal of him being so close.  I like that for her, because she loves him and he is good to her, and good for her.

Tessa