where is my box??

 So as part of my therapy,  I am going back and looking at old pictures and stuff, to try and put my memories together...

I have a box, labeled "Mels stuff", it has all my high school scrap books and other items, I need to look at...So I asked my X to go up into the attic and see if he could find it, and then mail me the box.

He goes up there, says he looks in every box and the box I am wanting is not there...the fuck?  It has to be there...I do not have that box here...

The only other place it Might be is in his moms attic in NM.  But I cannot imagine that it would be there...I still think it is in the attic of my old home in Oklahoma...

So this is aggravating me to know end...I KNOW I HAVE THAT BOX, I VIVADLY REMEMBER LOOKING IN THAT BOX...

Am I mistaken?  My vivid memories, all come back to be true..so why can't I remember where that box is?  

Because he said, he looked in every box up there, makes me feel so stupid...he even said "you probably took it with you"...no I did not!  I took nothing from the attic...that fucking box has got to be up there, I do not think he looked into every box...my box would have been shoved into the very back end of the attic, behind the kids toys, and Xmas box decorations...did he look thoroughly???

There is something in that box that is nagging at me...something in there I need to see, and work through...I think the key to help be unlock some "stuffed" memories is in that box....

How can MY STUFF just disappear?   

S