Ramblings

I sit at my window, up in the trees.

It is so quiet,

I watch as the leaves fall silently to the ground.

Its as if the trees are crying, soft gentle tears,

floating to the earth..

and they crash, with no sound... 

I sit in my own head,

only its loud with noise,

I watch and hear my world crumble around me,

like being in a mine field,  not knowing which step to take.

Its as if, my head is trying to explode.

Pain and agony, screaming to the earth,  in a loud crushing

blow....

No soft silent tears for me...

I leave that for the trees..

------------------------------------------------------------------------

My prison has a balcony

I can sit outside and listen,

as life goes on around me.

My prison has the comforts of home.

I can move freely from room to room.

My prison allows pets,  my charge to care for.

Yet it is still a prison.

Outside my gate, there is no safety.

My warden is a liar, a drunkard and a pervert,

He is ever constant, watching, leering, torturing me by his very presence. 

I left one prison, transferred to another.

A prison where I am left alone in my cell.  

A prison with a balcony, yet still a prison.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I use to love traveling...going to new places, experiencing new things,

I don't anymore.

I use to love hiking, kayaking, being female, sex, living...

I don't anymore.

I use to love to dress up, be a girlie girl.

I don't anymore.

I use to love to go to clubs, go dancing, be with people.

I don't anymore.

I use to enjoy life, laugh and play,

I don't anymore.

I use to think my life meant something, that I had purpose.

I don't anymore.

I use to think....

I don't anymore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I, means We.  

We means Us

Us means eight

that is our fate.