mommy has no voice

 So I have been thinking about my mom...I talked with my dad yesterday and the stroke she had, damaged the "speech" part of her brain.

Her brain is fine, she can think, and she tries to talk, but only gibberish comes out.  She can't "verbalize" what is in her head or what she is thinking...she is trapped in her own mind.....

I know that over time, she will have speech therapy and or her speech will slowly come back, but until then, she is not able to speak clearly.

Everything else is fine, her heart, everything...

So,  after all these years, she is getting to feel some of what I have been feeling my whole life...

I have had to "shut my mouth" about all the abuse...I have screamed and screamed in my mind "please hear me!!!!" but no one does...

Now my mother is screaming in her mind..."I wanna talk.." and she can't.  It is like Karma.  She is finally feeling some Karma for what she did to me.  She has so much to say, and cannot say it...

Like me...I have mountains and oceans of things to say, but I can't...there is a hand over my mouth....my mother now has a hand over her mouth...

How does that feel, mommy dearest?  How does it feel to want to scream out what you are feeling or thinking, and you can't??? That has been my entire life...

Screaming in my mind, with nothing coming out of my mouth...no voice..my mother, for now, has no voice..

GOOD...SHE NEEDS TO SUFFER, SHE NEEDS TO FEEL WHAT SPARROW HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH...

Now all she has is her mind...all she can do is think, and remember, I hope memories of my childhood flood her thoughts and drown her...like I have been drowned....

Sorry mommy, but not sorry.

S, Sophee