Grrrr, so sick of my mother

 I woke up this morning from a late night call and voicemail from my dad.  He was calling to tell me that my mother was doing better, but is still in rehab.  

I called him back this morning.  My dad, not even 5 months ago, almost died of sepsis and gangrene, he was hospitalized for over a month.  He is home but he is still recovering, and still has issues with brain fog and equilibrium....my mother had a stroke two weeks ago.  She is fine, except for her ability to speak clearly..the stroke affected her speech.  Thats it, other than that she is perfectly healthy for an 80 yr old woman...she is resting comfortably and getting round the clock care.....

My dad lives just across the street from the rehab center, every day he walks across the street and sits with her, all fucking day long...mostly she just sleeps and he sits there...

When talking to him this morning, he sounded so tired, so wore and beaten down...I am so worried about him, he is the one that is in more danger of relapse or dying..not my mother...

In Oklahoma the weather is suppose to get to 115 degrees today!  and my dad is out walking in this intense heat, just so my mom won't be alone...fuck that shit

I literally yelled at my dad "why would you risk your own health to walk across a street in this heat to sit with mom...stay home and sleep...get some rest...if you don't take care of yourself, then you will be of no use to mom when she comes home....but he said "I love her, and I need to do what she wants me to do, she wants me there".....

Seriously????? was she sitting at my dads side every day for over a month? NO SHE WAS NOT.  Once I called my dads phone and she picked up while in the hospital with dad, I asked her how she was doing and her reply "this is so hard for me"....well yes it is, because you are not the one that is being doted upon and cared for, you selfish bitch.

I said, "dad, she will understand that you need to rest and take care of yourself, she won't get mad"....he said "oh yes she will", "I have already been berated for not being there when she woke up"...

FUCK HER, GODDAMN IT FUCK HER SELFISH BITCH UNCARING ASS.

If my dad dies of heatstroke, or has a relapse of his heart, and dies, it will be directly because of my mother, my mother and her needs, her demands, her anger, her righteousness and sense of entitlement...She doesn't give a rats ass about anybody but herself.  

I fucking hate her.  OMGODDAMN I hate her....

I know that I was spitting in the wind when I told my dad to stay home, rest, sleep, eat, take care of yourself....because its all about my mother.   

Why is my dad scared of her anger?  She certainly cannot say the words in her head to cut you up with her knife=tongue,  his ears would be protected from her verbal attacks and cutting remarks...and if he can't stand the look in her eyes, then look away...fuck

He also told me that when she comes home she will have to have constant "babysitting" because she gets up and walks away, goes outside and just takes off....I think long before this stroke she has been developing dementia...her two older sisters both have it.  My dad does not want to be her babysitter.  He even bemoaned that he will never be able to leave her and go anywhere by himself or do anything except her.   

Funny side note:  my sister did not fly down to Oklahoma to be with our mother after our mothers stroke.  Hmmmmmmm, that speaks even volumns about how she feels about her own mother...

So, she will not be taking care of mom...david and his wife, are in OKC but also do not want to be caretakers of mom or dad...david does what he can, but he has a new wife and all that stuff...I certainly would not take care of my mother if she was the last person on earth...

So, my mom is alone.  Except for dad, she has no one...why? because of her holier than thou, poor pitiful me, condemning christian opinions and hateful comments to family and others.  Her negativity and refusal to accept others and her always "right" attitude...nobody wants to be with her...

I can tell you right now, that if my dad, Jim, was not married to her, he would not be killing himself to be with her...he feels a sense of obligation and christian duty....sucks to be him.

Even from my moms hospital bed, and even from her limited speech patterns, my mother continues to hurt others...fuck her

S,7,sophee