So, I think I want to delete my Sparrowisms Facebook page. There is just simply no interaction, no questions or discussions, lots of members see the posts, but only 2 or 3 (out of 50+members) might comment.
Our You Tube video's are the same. In fact the only video that have more than 200 views are the one "My Story"...That tells me people only want to see the freak show. People want to hear the nitty gritty details of my abuse, not me trying to survive it. No one is interested in actually learning and educating themselves on DID.
Kevin is wasting his time. And I am just being more and more humiliated about my DID. It is fucking humiliating for me to keep putting my DID out there, I look like a fool. DID is not a glamorous condition, not like cancer or diabetes or Bi-polar issues, all the other glamorous popular illnesses and disorders.
DID is nothing more than a freaking Hollywood manufactured "movie of the week" to rake in views. I cannot compete with Hollywood, I cannot, ever, put the Hollywood influence and ideals to rest.
Social Media and Hollywood have sabotaged those of us with this condition that is REAL. I am sick of Tic Toc glamorizing and making DID look fun....I am tired of Hollywood making DID into a monster that kills people or hurts others...
People with DID are nothing but the butt of everyone's jokes, certainly Tic Toc, You Tube and Hollywood.
It is time for me to go back into the closet. It is not to late for me to hide who I really am, who we are...in fact, my husband would be overjoyed if my DID "went away"...Life is easier when you live in secret.
Secrets keep you safe. Keeping your mouth shut, keeps you safe, playing dead, keeps you safe. Being dead is safest yet.
So, its the closet for me, my safe place, for now.
S, Tessa
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