SHUT OUT

 So, last week, my brother told me they were going to have a family meeting with my dads doctors about the next step for my dad.  I asked my brother to call me and put me on speaker so I could listen in....

Last night, my dad calls, talking nonsense, cussing, and talking about "waking up dead"...I just went along with the discussion, then we eventually hung up with him saying "ok, I will see you in the morning"...I am 1000 miles away....

I called my brother this morning.  He said that the meeting took place and Suzy thinks he should be allowed to go home with home health care.  

THEY HAD THE MEETING...HE CALLED SUZY...HE LEFT ME OUT.

I am being shut out of his health decisions...I flat do not agree with Suzy....he is totally out of his mind.  He is 6'1" and almost 200 pounds...my mom is like 80 pounds soaking wet...what if he falls?  She can't help him up...what if he walks out of the house in the middle of the night?  She would be sleeping, and even then, she could not stop him......

I think Suzy is wrong, and I told David that...he tends to agree with me....

I am hurt that they cut me out of the family meeting...but at the same time, my step dad, is their dad...the only dad they have ever known...and I had my own daddy, whom I loved and had a relationship with...I guess they think, because I had my own dad, that I should have no say or anything about my step dad.   Maybe they are right...

But the hurt is still there.  My sister hates me with a passion.  She hates Kevin....and maybe she thinks she is sticking it to me, by not contacting me during the meeting...whatever...

My brother says he will keep me in the loop on the decision with dad...well, I AM NOT HOLDING MY BREATH.

IT IS OBVIOUS THAT I AM NOT WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE IN MY DADS HEALTHCARE.

SIGH, this whole thing has got me torn up inside, literally I am being ripped apart, not only by my dad being so sick, but by my family as well.

But this is the norm....so it should not bother me, but FUCK IT...It bothers me and breaks my heart.

I WAS THE DAUGHTER THAT TOOK CARE OF DAD AND MOM FOR YEARS AND YEARS, I TOOK CARE OF MY DADS MOM AT TIMES, I WAS THERE....DAVID AND SUZY WERE NOT....IT WAS ME!!!!

How fast they forget...how fast they are to shut me out...all those years of taking care of my parents...my fucking abusers, and I get nothing....not a damn thing....shut out....WELL FUCK THEM ALL.

So okay.  I am bowing out of this situation.  Dad is all theirs now...they can take over....

S, Sophee, Tessa