Sorry

 I am sorry, I”m sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry sorry..

I am sorry I put up the decorations on my advocates tree.   I thought it would be a nice surprise, but he didn’t even notice till I pointed it out that I had done that.   Instead of “wow, thank you “, I got “I don’t get to put on any decorations?”   Epic fail.

So much for trying to surprise him and help him out.   I will never do that again.   

I am sorry that I even went over there to his apartment. I should have taken a clue when he was not happy with the “gag” ornaments I got for his tree.  Those ornaments are now on my sorry little tree.

I hate my family.  I hate my life.   I simply cannot do anything right.   I cannot be happy.   I am tired of the fucking ridicule and condemnation I get from family members.   .  When I try to explain something to ANYONE it falls on deaf ears.  Everyone only hears what they want to hear.   I have literally no goddamn fucking voice.   

When I speak, I am not heard.  I am only paid lip service.   Every one thinks it’s there place to judge me…

Even my advocate is angry at me for being angry and upset.   I mean after all I have no fucking business being upset..I brought everything on myself.  I have been instrumental in fucking up every bodies lives…

I am a home wrecker, an interloper and a fucking sorry excuse for a human, wife, mother, grandmother, friend, girlfriend and even pet owner.

So I am sorry, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…

But mostly I am so sorry and I fucking apologize for ever being born and fucking up my family.

S