I think frustration is my worse enemy. I have no patience for myself, none. I have an issue with the right side of my body, my vision is off some,(that is the brain tumors fault) and it causes me to drop, spill, and bang into things all the time...Judging distance on the right side is a struggle. And it irritates me to no end...
Every time I spill or drop or break something, or even bang into something, I immediately feel like a baby or a child...it is like I am constantly drunk on the right side of my body...
It is very frustrating, and frustration is a major trigger for me. My head immediately goes to "omg, I am gonna get in so much trouble or even beat for making a mess, or breaking something etc"...I am scared and before anyone can punish me, I start punishing myself..."stupid, clumsy, idiot, can't have anything nice, you ruin everything, you break everything, what a dope...stupid stupid stupid..." It is so hard for me to go "oops, accident, no problem"...instead, I feel like I must have done it on purpose, so I need to be punished.....
what an ignorant thing to feel, but there it is....
fuck....how do you learn to overcome intense frustration??
S, 7
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