telling my husband

 So, My advocate has informed me that this is the year we are going to tell my husband about my DID,  Its been four years I have been separated and going through treatment and therapy and learning about, my DID.    

My husband deserves to know, why I left, and "who alls" I am.   I am fucking scared as hell to tell him.  My advocate said that "HE" would initially talk to John....He wants to explain DID to him, and he will be able to answer any questions that John may have.  Then after he talks with John, he is going to send him the link to my "Youtube" channel, to watch the video of just me talking....I am also going to make a private video just for John that will never be added to the channel...

I told my sister about my DID, and she has abandoned me....I told my closest cousin about my DID and I have not heard from her since...she abandoned me apparently too....I have only one cousin that has accepted my DID....

John is super christian, and my advocate is not...so the phone conversation that they will have, will be interesting....as GOD cannot cure my DID, in fact, GOD is the reason I have it...if there even is a god to begin with...so,  it will be interesting to hear my advocate slamming religion....but he will do it very politically correct and John will not be able to counter it....

I am fucking dreading that conversation, but at the same time, I want John to know...I want him to understand that "HE" was not the sole reason I left...I was married to him for over 30 years...it will be interesting for me to see his reaction to my diagnosis....He had to have known I was "Off" in my head...I think he attributes my leaving to the brain injury and consequent brain tumors...but that did not cause my DID...it has always been there....I think this will be the hardest thing for John to wrap his head around.....

John is a good man, he is smart, and compassionate...so I am hoping that he will understand and accept and support me as his former wife...I hope to all that is holy that he is able to explain and comfort my kids when they find out, I am hoping that he will defend my DID to my family and HIS family....I am hoping for the best....but I am expecting the worse....

Am I ready?????

S