DID depression

 It is so hard to talk about depression.  My entire life I have struggled with it.  When I would see a therapist, they would ask questions like "what are you feeling", "what is going on in your life right now" "how do you feel about this or that"..."start a journal, and document your depression"...omg..

But with DID I cannot write about "why" or "how" I feel a certain way...Because I flat do not understand what I am feeling..

Not understanding why I am depressed, is so frustrating, it frustrates me to the point of even more deeper depression, I get angry and that will trigger Sophee, so now I am depressed, angry, frustrated and I don't know why, so then I get suicidal depression and start feeling like I am worthless, stupid, and then out pops Sophee and she does her thing, and now I have to deal with wounds...she stops the suicidal thoughts...but the depression is still there...when Sophee does her thing, that is frustrating and painful.

My advocate has all my alters trust, and they will front for him, and often times he will find out that one of my alters is upset or depressed, and he will let them talk about it and help them to find answers and relief...that being done, when I refront, I do feel better...it is so fucking weird at times...

Trying to do a video about DID depression, is very difficult, because it stirs up all my alters and I rapid switch...that leaves me emotionally and mentally exhausted, but you know what?  THAT IS DID DEPRESSION...

DID depression is not "mainstream singlet depression"  it cannot be managed and then you are all better...because it is just not YOU, the singlet, it is 8 personalities jockeying for position....

so fucking hard....and the fight alone is depression....

S, T

we did not cause your depression problems...don't blame us.  7