So, its Thanksgiving. the time of year when you either stuff your face, or count your blessings....
Well I will not be stuffing my face, but I will count my blessings...
My grandchildren are my blessings, Gage was a blessing even though he is gone now...
My kids are blessings for the most part, other times I want to ring their necks!
I am blessed to have money, food and a roof over my head. I am blessed in that I do not have to hold a job, I can be retired and happy.
Blah blah blah blah...the usual "I am thankful for" answers!
But the what am I thankful for the most???
My advocate. He has blessed me with understanding, patience, courage, knowledge, caring, love, acceptance...he has held my hand during my initial diagnosis of DID. He did not run away, he has stayed and fought for me, fought for my alters, he has fought for my life...He has single handedly done more for me in 4 years than anyone else has in my lifetime...
Not my husband, not my parents, not my friends, not my relatives...I was married over 30 years to a man who basically ignored my "sparrowisms", ignored my pleas for help, ignored me and favored God over me...fuck that...
My parents??? now that is a joke! My mom did nothing for me growing up except teach me hate, disgust and anger...
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I am glad and happy that I no longer have to pretend to be her...I can be me, 7. I don't have to hide my smoking, I can sit in our own home anywhere and just be me. It is refreshing that I don't have to concern myself with being a girl because she is, it is so tough for me to pretend I am her when we are around people, I do not like "being a female". And, I don't have to be a man...what a freak that would be...being 7 takes away the baggage of sexual orientation...I can just focus on keeping her heart safe.
7
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for me, Tessa, I love my ring...I can turn it to my color and be safe in knowing that others know who I am without making a big deal out of it. I enjoy being the "head" of the home...because I am just that...I keep her home in working order, I keep her safe in her home...I don't mind pretending to be her, but being able to be me is nice and calm.
We are all so thankful of her advocate...I think that is a stupid description of the man who has been helping her, us, to live a full life as us...he is more than just her advocate (whatever that means...) he is her savior....He saved her, and he has saved us too. I like him...he is fun, understanding and doesn't yell at her/us...he talks with me, as Tessa, not as her...I like that.
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He will dance with me...he is fun. I like that. I like that he is trying to learn how to communicate with me...nobody has ever done that but my friend, from a long time ago...
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we are all happy, I think...I can't speak for the others, but I think we are all in a good place...and that is because of Kevin, the advocate...our friend, our confidant, and our voice...Thank you.
S, T, 7, and sammy
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