foot in mouth, again

 SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS....everytime I open my fucking mouth I insert my foot....when will I learn to keep my opinions and comments to myself??

There are people who I don't give a fuck if I offend or hurt with my words...but then there are those that I go to great lengths not to offend or hurt....

I am friends with my advocates daughter on facebook.  I really like her, I think she is really cool...she posted a meme about the "beauty of death", so I commented in comparing the beauty of us being Stardust to creating new planets...scientific beauty...but this must have upset or offended her, she removed my post.  I did not cuss, I did not make reference to any god, or religious leaning...I just compared the two....

Now, of all the people I NEVER want to offend is her.  Because I know that she is his real "baby girl".   I am just his "girlfriend" "project"....I know that if I offended or upset her to the point that she remarked as much to him, that he would fucking drop me like a hot potato.  I AM NOT FAMILY, NOT HIS FAMILY.  I NEVER WILL BE, BECAUSE I WON'T MARRY HIM...I know that if push came to shove, I will lose, every time.  Whether it is with his daughter, or his young son...I am basically collateral damage.

I decided to unfollow his daughter.  That way, I will never be tempted to post a comment therefore not upsetting her.  

It is like I try so hard to be a good person...I never deliberately try to hurt anyone, I can't....but it doesn't matter...because at the end of the day, that is exactly what I do...I hurt people.  My very life, hurts people.

When my DID videos become more known, they will hurt people...because I can't forgive...

I just don't understand why I am always the bad person??  

I am so upset with myself for upsetting his daughter. (I sent her a message apologizing, so I hope she accepts it).  My heart feels like it is going to burst into tears at any moment....My advocate is literally all I have in the world, and if his daughter decides I am no good, then he will leave me....I will be alone...again.  Blood is always thicker than water...

S,7