I was awakened by my dog barking like crazy....I jumped up and ran towards the door....it was so dark that I hit the wall and bounced off.....all of the sudden I was sitting in a chair, and people were all around me....laughing, pointing, spitting at me....
I was so scared, and bewildered...why does everybody hate me?? What did I do wrong??
I could not find my dog....I tried to talk, but nothing would come out of my mouth...I tried to stand up, but my legs were like rubber....
I had my phone in my hand, but the numbers would not dial...I could not get service...and the people around me were advancing towards me....getting too close....
I heard my dog barking again...where was he??? Why isn't he with me.....
a door opened and my advocate walked in....he walked in and stared at me, nodded, then walked back out and shut the door...he locked the door...
Lou Lou was under my chair....I wanted to cry but did not have any tears....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a dream that woke me up at 5:30 am. It was so real...was Boomer really barking? It took me awhile of just laying there, to finally put it all together that I was only dreaming.....what does this dream mean?
I have not thought of Lou Lou in a very long time....in my dream I saw people but did not know who they were.....strangers.....except for my advocate....was he turning his back on me in my dream? Is this dream, prophetic?
I hate when I have dreams and in my dreams I can't run, or I can't scream, or I can't get cell service....these dreams leave me feeling trapped.
Am I trapped now? Trapped in my own head? Are the girls my prison guards? Is my advocate the warden? Were the people in my dream, actually my alters??? Why would they spit on me....do they hate me??? I can't see their face....I can't see their sex, their color, only that they are human....what?
Is living here in Virginia, my prison? I always felt like here I was free! But am I? I will never be free...my head, my memories, my alters, will always keep me bound in chains...stuck to the chair....screaming with no sound...
S
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"when all the lights go out on you"
"and when your worthless life is through"
"I will remember how you screamed"
"I will remember everything"
"I can't afford to care"
Sammy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment