too much

 I am so scared.  I seem to being going down,

I am so weary.  I seem to not care at all.

Is this what a breakdown feels like?

I don't know, I have never been up..

This seems so familiar to me...

My gentle blanket of depression.

I have been pushed to my limits...

I can't get out of my head,

I would be better off dead.

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I seem to be struggling...ever since I hit Mila...then the disaster trip...the constant arguing and feelings of abandonment and betrayal...The goddamn girls all over the place...the trip was too much for me/us....I cannot shake the poison cobwebs,  so tired of it all....

I was not speeding or breaking the law when I hit Mila.  I braked so hard I veered to the center medium, I would have driven off a fucking cliff to save that dog had I had the choice....wish I had...my misery would be over and Mila would have 4 legs....

S,7,T