When I was a small child, I was led to believe that "I drowned my dog"...all of my adult life I lived with that horrible memory....As a small child I saw a dog alive, being hung in a tree and its owner beating him.....As a small child I saw a dog get hit and killed by a car on a highway, and then the driver of the car I was in, hit a lady trying to save that dog...but he kept on driving.....
My whole life, I have spent working with and saving dogs, anything to make up for "my drowning my puppy as a child"....
Then I found out that "I did not drown that dog", my monster of a step dad had me and my dog get into the bath tub and HE held that dog down...not me.....HE killed that dog....He killed my bunny....then told me to bury it...
So by far, animals are my soft spot.
Yesterday, as I was driving on a 4 lane, 45 mph street, a coon dog ran right in front of me and I struck him. My heart broke into a million pieces....Ally is upset, we all are....
the dog was taken by its owner (who was chasing him and saw me hit him) came running over and the dog was taken to the Vet hospital. As of last night, the dog was in critical condition, broken shoulder and leg and who knows what kind of internal injuries...I am waiting for an update today....
If that dog dies, I will die inside too....I would have rather hit a person than an animal, especially a dog...I am so sick to my stomach, and I fucking could not sleep last night...all I can see is that dog running in front of me and the sound of me hitting him...OMG
we are suppose to leave tomorrow for our vacation.....a vacation that I was looking forward to for the most part, now I just do not want to go....my heart is just fucking broken and I don't know how to fix it...
If that dog dies, its because I killed him, I killed him with my jeep...I will not be able to live with that....
S
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