mental retard

 So, contrary to popular belief....having multiple personalities does not make me a retard.  It does not make me inferior to other "normal" people.  And it does not make me a freak.  

I am starting to find out, through our Youtube videos and facebook page, that "I" am not taken seriously.  I AM the side show of the circus, or at least that is how I am beginning to feel.

Just because I do not want to be in every fucking video, does not make me unimportant.

For example:

on our FB page, I asked multiple times if there is a topic or question anyone would like to see addressed in our videos....all I got were "crickets".

Now my advocate is wanting to do a segment "Ask Sparrow"......NOBODY WANTS TO ASK ME SHIT....AND ITS BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THE SUDDEN BECAME A RETARD WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT EVEN HOW TO TAKE A SHIT.....they will ask the advocate.

I have had this disorder since I was 6 yrs old....nobody knew, and therefore I mattered.  Nobody was afraid to ask my anything......NOW THAT I HAVE WENT PUBLIC,  its like I have all the sudden developed this horrific contagious disease that nobody wants to contract....

But I betcha if my Advocate asks the same question to our FB group, he would get all kinds of questions for the Video.  BECAUSE HE IS THE SMART ONE, THE TEACHER, THE NORMAL ONE...I am nothing but the damaged goods.

But I don't get it...He does not have DID...so how can he answer questions about what its like having DID?  Oh, I know, he will pose the same question to me, because nobody else can figure out how TO JUST FUCKING ASK ME! 

I have went from a "normal" woman to a freak show, and any respect anyone had of me, is now gone....

As far as I am concerned, I will not be in any more videos.  It will be all my advocate, because HE is the one people want to listen to anyway, he is the smart one, the one who explains everything, because he can, he is not a "mentally sick non-person".  That would be me....if I make an appearance on a video, I will be looked at sideways....is she switching?  is she so-and-so?  what does it look like to have multiple personalities? I am nothing but a freak curiosity.  I could open my mouth and talk on the videos, but I WILL NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY....BECAUSE, REMEMBER....I AM THE MENTAL RETARD SO THEREFORE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NOTHING....ITS A WONDER I CAN EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO BLOG OR DRIVE A GODDAMN CAR.

S

PS...would you be afraid to ask somebody how they lost a limb? or how they survived a near death experience? would you be afraid to ask someone how it felt to wear braces on their teeth????  NOOOOOOOOO, so don't be afraid to ask ME about DID....but if you are too fucking afraid to look me in the eye and ask a question (no matter the question, because there is no such thing as a DUMB question, you learn by asking...) then do not consider me your friend.  I may not be able to answer your question, but at least give me the chance and the respect to try, instead of going behind my back.