Friday, May 21, 2021

Highway freak out

 Ok, so there is something about the highway that triggers a full on panic attack.  My advocate and I were on the highway (me with the kayaks) and him in his car.  I was following him, and I noticed a weird sound coming from the kayaks...I called my advocate and he said to pull over so he would check the straps.  I pulled over to the shoulder, the traffic was so heavy and my Advocate just popped out his car and walked up to mine, I swear I thought he would get clipped by the traffic..I started screaming at him, and I totally freaked out and went black.....

This is the second time, I freaked out...another time was when he had to change a tire on the highway...

My hands were shaking so bad.  I do not know how I drove off that highway...there is something there...a memory of some kind....that has to do with highways....I am petrified to remember that!  If you saw the major PTSD I get on the highway...I can drive fine, no problem, but walking along the highway freaks me the fuck out....seriously!

There is probably some type of horrible memory waiting for me, in regards to the highway...I am not looking forward to that recall, at all.....

S

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