Sleep superpower

 I am so tired of having to work at sleeping.  By work at, I mean:  plug in fan (white noise), cover eyes (mask), insert earplugs, pull together black out curtains, turn down heater to cool room...take melatonin, fuck, it is like I am putting the troops together for war!  The war inside my head that keeps me restless at night.

DID people often have issues with insomnia.  I have fought sleep as far back as I can remember.  I think, Sparrow wants to sleep, but I don't know about the others...I know sometimes when I am asleep...Ally comes out to play...soooooooo, no sleep.

I use to have issues with sleeping that related to the nightmares I had...I was afraid to go to sleep...but since dealing with memories and shit like that, the nightmares have stopped...which is good...but I still have the hardest fucking time trying to sleep.  Every sound wakes me up...its very aggravating.

I saw in an article 15 ways to get better sleep at night...I DO AND HAVE DONE EVERYONE OF THOSE SUGGESTIONS...and still, sleep is hit or miss with me.

I am beginning to think one of my alters NEVER sleeps!  She must roam around in my head all night, slamming doors, turning on lights and whatever else just to irritate me.  

If I take a sleeping pill, I can fall asleep pretty easy, but within 2 hours I am awake again...my problem is staying fucking asleep...I wake up dozens of times in the night...what the fuck is REM sleep??? I am sure I never sleep deep enough REM sleep.

My advocate had a sleep study done...can you imagine if I had a sleep study done??  it would be a comedy of errors, for sure.

I need one of those oxygen chambers (like Michael Jackson had) to sleep in....my own private casket..haha

And the craziest thing, the more lack of sleep I get, the more tired I get, yet it is harder to fall asleep.  I get so paranoid in my head that I won't be able to sleep, and whoola...I am not sleeping!  My brain is always going, whether it is me, Tessa, Ally, Lilly, Sophee, or Sammy, someone is always awake and thinking....and that affects the host body so much...

I think if I had a superpower, I would want to be able to close my eyes, be instantly asleep and sleep for 8 hours straight without waking up...everynight!  I want a Sleep Superpower!

Being able to actually sleep would be the greatest superpower I could ever have.  

S