I am so fucking tired of not being able to sleep....It is impossible to turn my brain off....I took a total 7 ibuprofen-PM in a space of 11 hours, and still....NO FUCKING SLEEP. When I don't sleep, my blood sugar levels drop, my hands shake, my body tingles and my eyes feel like sand castles...I feel so tired, yet when I lay down, sleep eludes me.....I may have one or two nights a month that I actually feel rested as if I have slept a good 8 hours...the rest of the days, I toss and turn, beg to sleep, and may sleep a couple of hours at a time, but then wake up and it takes a good hour to maybe fall back asleep, only to wake up again in an hour or two....My body and my mind does not do sleep deprivation...when I am over tired all I want to do is cry and scream and take every damn pill in the house on the off chance I may fall asleep...
WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD TO JUST FALL THE FUCK ASLEEP???
sleep is a natural function, essential for the body, yet my stupid ass fuck donkey dick sucking body does not sleep...I am not natural. I am a fucking freak. I know its the goddamn alters keeping me up at night, can't be any other explanation...there is absolutely no physical reason why I should not be able to sleep......but my mind is not natural...my mind will not SHUT THE FUCK UP...
Last night, before bed, a friend and I watched a movie....afterwards I was going to tell them goodnight and they let out this long ass fart...even smiled like it was funny...I was offended to the core, I felt so disrespected and taken for granite. I was raised to have manners. I would never conduct myself so rudely and insensitively like that in front of anyone. I was so mad, hurt and disgusted I could not even tell them goodnight. It was just a fart, but seriously what is the bathroom for????? Why did that bother me so much other than it was rude and gross? I would not have been more offended had they pissed on me or slapped me in the face. Which they would never do, that is just an example of how much rude behavior appalls me, especially farting. I would never be so rude and disrespectful to others, if I had to fart, I would just excuse myself from the room but the thought of "letting it rip" in front of others is appalling.
Even my X husband knew how I felt about farting, and he rarely farted in front of me in the entire 34 years I was with him, and I certainly never farted intentionally in front of him. Being around someone who farts is an instant turn off. I am just not into bodily functions...I don't even pee or poop around anybody, not even my husband. Certain types of bodily functions should be kept private.
S
She could smell him before his hand ever covered her mouth. He would whisper with that foul breath to be quiet, if she woke her sister up, he said he would make her regret it. So, she stays silent. She listens to him grunt, and burp. She smells his farts and body odor. She wants to gag, but if she makes a sound that filthy hand would go right back over her mouth. She kicks her doll to the foot of the bed under the covers so he won't find it and destroy it....she silently screams and cries as he roughly handles her...she wants it to be over...she stares at the ceiling, at the door, at the floor, anywhere but at him...his filth never washes off her, she can never get clean. No matter how many baths she takes, his stench lingers..it has soaked into her soul. She will never be clean and pure...she is permanently dirty.
Sammy
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