todays kids

I have come to a stark realization.  I do not like or enjoy being around kids.  I no longer have the patience for their behavior.  Even my own grandsons, I can only take in very small doses.  Mostly, I believe its the parents of said little kids that really piss me off.  I watch my kids indulge their kids, let their kids get away with lying, let themselves be manipulated by their kids, and the smart fucking mouth it seems kids have more of these days.  

I don't know if it is because my own life as a kid was a shit fest.  Or I am jealous because I NEVER got away with lying or manipulating my parents.  I got beat to a pulp for basically everything.  Punished all the time...If I did not like my dinner plate, I was welcome to not eat the meal, but I got nothing in its place.  I either ate what was given to me to eat, or I went hungry.  None of this fucking bullshit, eating only what the kid wants.  My grandsons are like that, if they don't like what mama made, she will make them something they do like.  Which is FUCKING WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS.  lets teach our kids to be picky eaters, lets teach our kids that they always get what they want...lets spoil them.  Lets only feed our kids fast food, chips and fucking garbage, they like that...lets let our kids get fat as pigs so they can be bullied, have horrible health and every other thing.  

My advocate has a small son that lives mostly with his mother.  This kid is 8 yrs old and weighs 100 pounds.  The average weight for a 9 yr old boy is 63 pounds.  His kid is almost 40 pounds overweight.  He is well on his way to juvenile diabetes and horrible bullying.  But his mother is fat and basically white trash, late 20's and getting married for the 4th time?!  Since the advocate only has his son every couple months, he really cant do anything to change the direction of his sons life...but, I feel when he does have his son, he needs to not be the "fun parent".  He needs to have rules.  You eat what is given you.  You clean up after yourself.  You get off your ass and go outside and get some exercise.  Wear your fucking mask. etc....but he is a pacifist and is more happy just not murking the water.  So his son suffers.  He is not doing his son any favors.  In fact, he is basically saying "do what you want" I don't give a shit if you are fat, stupid, or don't wear a mask....WRONG WAY TO PARENT

I see this same philosophy with my own kids in regards to their kids. And I can assure you I raised my kids to eat what is given them, and they were disciplined and had rules to follow.  Nowadays its the kids that are the boss, not the parent.  AND THIS PISSES ME OFF.  MY ADVOCATE IS NOT THE PARENT, HIS SON IS.  MY DAUGHTER AND SON ARE NOT PARENTS, THEIR KIDS ARE.

If for some reason, my advocate had to take full time custody of his son, that would be our end.  I cannot be a part of raising todays generation of spoiled fat brats.  I will have to walk away.  I believe this is my biggest fear.  

S

PS  It is official.  I am the worst person in the world.  This is why I need to be alone.  I am a monster.

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what kind of person does not love children? an ugly person.

Ugly: adjective.    unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance, or involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness.  Unpleasantly suggestive: causing disquiet.  or morally repugnant.

that's me:

I am ugly

my thoughts are ugly

my speech is ugly

my body is ugly

my habits are ugly

my music is ugly

my ideals are ugly

my fantasies are ugly

my brain is ugly

my emotions are ugly

my writing is ugly

    -poems, ugly

    -stories, ugly

    -pictures, ugly

my memories are ugly

my life is ugly.

I am ugly.

we are all ugly....

S