I am not "Sybil"

Having alters is nothing like what is portrayed on television or the movies or even fictional books.  Hollywood makes it out to be as if you are a monster (Split) or you are (Sybil), or doctor Jeckle and mr Hyde...

Alters do not come out willy nilly....they do not present to strangers unless they have to protect the host, and most times a person is not even aware the alter is fronting.   (At least in my case)

DID patients do not change physical form (Split), but they do have more subtle changes, eyes darkening, hand usage (going from left to right), voice changes, inflection or accents, and mannerisms,  and intelligence levels.  The changes a person with DID has is more in the brain, not the body.  

However, I do have an alter that can control my breathing and mask my pain levels, she takes my pain for me when it is extreme...but again, that is more of the brain function, not physical changes...

Alters are usually very different than their hosts.  I have one alter that mimicks me (sparrow) and it is very hard to discern when she is out, she can usually fool anyone around....but she does not present as some monster or crazy person (like hollywood).   My other alters have their own very distinct style and personality, not at all like me, Sparrow.

I have also watched shows that were suppose to be "explanatory" of MPD or DID, but instead portrayed the DID patient as "lying" to further an agenda (Private Practice)...

Alters do not have an agenda.  Their only purpose is to protect the host.   They do not lie and manipulate to get something.  They do what they can to protect the mind of their host.  They are mind guards.  They guard my mind from pain, memories, and fear.

Its no wonder that the few people who know I have DID do not know how to act or what to say around me.  They have seen movies or tv shows and that is all they know about DID...what hollywood defines it as....I went to a friends house once and the first thing out of his mouth when I entered his home was "so who am I speaking to today?"   this was extremely offensive to me and demeaning.  

          a.  I do not pick and choose which alter "I am today"

          b.  I am not a comedy routine

          c.  I did not choose to have DID, how I got here was tragic

               and horrific, and to make light of it, is extremely rude and 

                and hurtful, even damaging.   

          d.  I am embarrassed by my condition and for someone to 

               "make light of it" only makes me more insecure.

I am sure, that other sufferers of DID have the same or similar feelings.    But on the other hand, a DID sufferer does not want to be coddled or treated with kit gloves...we do not want to be singled out as "different" or "mentally ill", we are not mentally ill, we have a mental condition, two different subjects.   We do not mind talking about DID as it relates to us individually, as long as the conversations are respectful and non-judgmental.  

I have no problem asking someone, for example, "how did you loose your arm or leg?"  Its a valid question, and I do not want to hear hearsay or gossip or rumors about the limb loss, but at the same time I am respectful of their loss and their story.  I do not mind talking about the DID as long as it is an intelligent responsible and questions stay pretty much generic.  I do not like talking about specific abuse and the details of that abuse...I do not want anyone "feeling sorry for me, or pitying me".  And there is too much morbid curiosity of people wanting to know the nitty gritty details...

I usually tell people if they want to learn more about my life, and why I have alters, to read this blog.  Go online and read medical journals on the condition, see others videos on DID.  DO NOT GO RENT HOLLYWOOD MOVIES such as Sybil, those are fantasy and do sufferers of DID a disservice.

S, Tessa