WORTHLESS

I AM A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.  i CANNOT STAND MYSELF, HOW CAN OTHERS STAND ME IF I CANT STAND MYSELF??

 I HAVE FUCKING SHIT FOR BRAINS, I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT, I LOOSE EVERYTHING, EVERY GODDAMN THING, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HARD I TRY AND BE ORGANIZED, TO HAVE A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING IN MY APARTMENT, IT IS TO  NO FUCKING AVAIL.....WHY THE HELL BOTHER TRYING TO HAVE A DECENT FUCKING LIFE.

I AM A NIGHTMARE, I FUCKING SHIT ALL OVER ANYBODY WHO TRIES TO HELP....I CANNOT BE HELPED, THESE FUCKING ALTERS, MY FUCKING TUMORS EVERY GODDAMN THING ABOUT ME IS WORKING AGAISNT ME TO DRIVE ME FUCKING INSANE, TO DOUBT MYSELF, TO HATE MYSELF, TO KILL MYSELF.

I AM SHIT...I STINK LIKE SHIT...I FEEL LIKE SHIT...MY HEART IS SHIT....MY BRAIN IS SHIT, MAGGOT INVESTED WORMY FUCKING DOG SHIT.

I FAIL AT EVERYTHING, MY MARRIAGE, MY KIDS, MY LIFE, I AM ONE BIG FUCKING FAILURE...MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT...I SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN, SHE SHOULD HAVE ABORTED ME, SHE WAS CORRECT IN CALLING ME STUPID...I AM STUPID, A STUPID FOOL.

WHY DO I GET SO FUCKING UPSET WHEN I CAN'T FIND SOMETHING?  SO WHAT,  SO WHAT IS THIS...IF I CAN'T FIND EVEN THE SIMPLIEST OF THINGS, IF I CANT DO EVEN THE SIMPLIEST OF TASKS, THAT TRANSLATES TO A FUCKED UP DEFORMED SICK DISGUSTING PIECE OF HUMAN FLESH....THAT IS ME.  WORTHLESS, STUPID, I DESERVE TO BE BEAT TO A PULP AND THROWN IN THE DITCH.  MAYBE THE DITCH IS WHERE I WILL FIND ALL THE FUCKING THINGS I HAVE LOST...A CESS POOL OF FUCKING SHIT.