Tessa was right..

My advocate and i took a trip up to the New England states for 9 days.  I wanted to see my sister and tell her about my DID.  She was going to be the marker for me if I should reveal my condition to family.  I was pretty sure she would not understand nor accept.  And I was right.  She felt the need to berate me on my power of attorney choice, and my choice to not attend gage funeral.  that night I basically blurted out my condition because of how she was treating me and talking to me.  She accused my advocate of trying to control me.  She was furious that he was the power of attorney...some how in her head, she thinks that he is controlling me, making my decisions and stealing my money.  

she could not be more wrong.   He does NONE of those things.  He helps me make good decisions, whatever I want to buy or want to do, he makes happen.  He takes care of me like  no one ever did.

my sister even compared him to John...which is hilarious because my advocate is NOTHING like john.  He has my best interest at heart, my husband only had himself and god as his best interest.

After I told her and her husband about the DID, things just went downhill.  We had plans the next morning to go into Boston.  well, my sister nixed those plans by getting drunk the night before and having a hangover...so we went without them.  Then we were going to go to her house for dinner, to talk more, and she informed me it was too late for her hubby...okay, I can certainly take a hint.  She wants nothing to do with me.

Fine.  we offered for her to come to the hotel to talk, but she said "no, I don't feel safe there"....she is fucking afraid of Kevin!  what a fucking crock...she just was avoiding me and my condition.

now she says she will come up after the new year to see me and talk more.  WELL I KNOW THAT AINT HAPPENING...

This is exactly why DID is not talked about or understood.  FAMILY

this latest dust up with my sister proves to me that her love for me is only lip service.  We never really had a close sister ship to begin with and this just proves she is basically only a sister in name.

I spent my entire childhood protecting her from the monster that was her bio dad...of course she has no memory of that, but it is true.

and I would do it all over again too, despite how she treats me and talks down to me, criticizes me, and hates my decisions.  No child should have to endure pure evil....I shielded her from that.

My sister makes no mistakes, her opinions are all that matter.  her understanding of something is all that matters, and she knows everything....she has always been this way.  very controlling, domineering and viscous with her words and speech. (no wonder her husband works all the time and has a thousand home projects, it keeps him busy and away from her mouth)

but I was ever so hopeful that this would not be the case with her this time, this visit.  but it was.

If she wants to learn more about DID, then she can study it online.  I am not going to subject myself to her verbal abuse again.

I am done feeling like a fucking idiot and fool around her.  Her actions speak volumes about her character.  This is the last time I will be burned by my sister, the last time I will let her words upset me.

My alters don't like her either, in fact, Tessa did not want me to mention it at all to her (she told the advocate that) because of this very situation.  she knew it would fuck me up, sparrow.  and she was right...she was trying to protect me like she always does...I should have listened to her...I should have listened to Tessa.

We are leaving New England today.  I am glad...we are safe and protected in VA, but under attack every where else.

S