What to say about Tessa, another alter. She seems to be the problem solver. The get it done kinda girl. She seems to be very even tempered, very calm cool and collected, serious. My advocate is the one that actually spotted her and knew she was not one of the others, he knew she was different. So he watched me, and occasionally he would ask me "what is your name"....he was waiting to catch her, Tessa.
He caught Tessa fronting and asked her "what is your name". He said she was so surprised that he pegged her, she said "how did you know I was not sparrow?. She has never been called out before. She has lived her life, and nobody, not even family ever knew she controlled so much of Sparrow. She is just about perfect being me. She sounds the same, looks the same, drives, does all the things Sparrow does. She also said that she has a college education. wow
When I look back now, there have been many many situations that called for a calm, in control, practical, non feeling, strong willed woman. for example when Sparrow met Jett.....Jett had wrapped his motorcycle around a pole and I was the first to drive up...it was a bloody gruesome scene, but I literally kept jett alive until EMSA got there, in fact, I was doing such a good job of keeping Jett awake and coherent that EMSA worked on him all around me, and did not have me leave his side or stop talking to him until he was ready to load on the gurney. BUT NOW I KNOW THAT WAS TESSA TENDING TO JETT. Not, sparrow.
another time a cement truck turned over on the highway, again I was first on scene and I helped the driver climb out of the truck, and his face had been partially severed by an ax that had been hanging in the cab of the truck...it was gruesome...but I sat him down on the side of the road, used a shirt to hold up the half of his face to his skull and apply pressure...I kept the man talking to keep him from going into shock, until EMSA arrived, then I turned right around and gave an interview to a newscrew at the scene....ALL VERY CALM COOL AND COLLECTED. That was not sparrow.
Tessa has been taking care of business since her "birth". Where the others have jobs:
Lilly-protector
Ally-little, stress reliever
Sammy- stress reliever, dancer, mute
Sophie-punisher
Kaos-sexual
Tessa-problem solver
Sparrow-host body
Interesting the way all these alters work to make Sparrow a whole person....Interesting how they are all so different...yet they all work together as a team...when I let them, that is!
I do not know what Tessa looks like, which hand she uses, etc...I guess all that will evolve as she talks more and more with my advocate. I am guessing she sees herself as Sparrow looks...since she is the very best at imitating me.
S
Tessa has blue eyes and is right handed.
I've just discovered I have D.I.D. Its not easy for me or my alters. As you read these blog entries, some are by me and some are by them. Each one us expressing a moment of joy or frustration as we learn to adapt to our new life and flood of bad memories.
Tuesday, June 16, 2020
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