another one

So, there is indeed another alter.  FUCK
She did not give her name, but she talked with the advocate yesterday.  Evidently she is the one that has been mimicking "Sparrow" for years...seems my family and friends have interacted with "her" and not even known it.   

All I know about her is that she is very good at pretending to be me, and she does not like to be touched or cuddled.  

I GIVE UP....I AM TIRED....I HATE ALL THESE ALTERS....
WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE...

OR MAYBE SINCE I AM A FUCKING ALTER TOO, I SHOULD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE....

HOW DO I DO THAT?  How do I shut them down, make them go away.....do you know what it is like to lose time?  To do something one hour previously and think it was done a day ago...or not remember doing it at all?   or saying the same damn thing over and over because you forgot?   I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING FOOL.

I don't have dementia or Alzheimer's disease.   I have fucking alters that put those two diseases to shame....and to make matters worse, the knowledge or memory might be in my head, but it is in one of their heads, so one alter may remember one thing the other does not.   

SO, WHO LEFT THE MILK OUT?
  should I call each one out and ask them individually?  
Ally, did you?
Lilly, did you?
Sophie, did you?
Sammy, did you?
Kaos, did you?
NO NAME, did you?
Sparrow, did you?

SEE HOW FUCKING STUPID AND INSANE HAVING DID IS?  not even a "real" medical illness....just a stupid fucked up brain....
I can't imagine anyone wanting to be my friend.  They would not even know who the fuck they are talking too or interacting with...DID is a friend killer.....One alter may be good with one thing, but hate another, and the another may love what the other hates and love something different.   So, interacting with me will make me appear as a "hypocrite" because one day, I may think one way, then the next another personality thinks differently...

For example:  friend "do you like coffee"
                        Sparrow "why yes I do"
 next day:  friend "lets go get coffee"
                       different alter "I hate coffee".....

Yet the friend does not know who they are talking too...So I, Sparrow, just ends up looking like a fucking fool and liar and hypocrite.
                       DID IS A RELATIONSHIP KILLER

S and whoever the fuck else....
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PS.  Found out the new alter's name is Tessa.