So, its Tuesday. I am sitting here typing and watching the squirrels and birds eat their kibble I put out for them. It is also overcast and looks like rain. A cozy day in my treehouse.
After my "fat" rant yesterday, my advocate had me come over to his place and he gave me an "attitude adjustment"....The mirror in front of my eyes, is not the mirror in front of his...
I threw away the chips that Ally wanted. She got pretty upset about that...but I am determined to lose at least 10 pounds. To get back down to 102-4 is my goal. No matter what my alters think or feel about the situation. Sparrow is the host, its her physical body that the world sees..(when the girls look into a mirror when they are fronting, they see themselves...their image, they don't see Sparrow...) so I am the one who has to deal with a fat or broken body...they get to flit in and out without any hindrances...LUCKY
Even though Sparrow is an alter too, Sparrows body is the host, and I have to be a good steward of that body...I am not only responsible for me, I am responsible to 5 other girls, all which live in my head...but are real people. Once when I was very depressed and suicidal, I was with my advocate and Ally fronted. She was upset too, because if Sparrow killed herself, she would also die, along with Lilly, Sammy, Sophie and Kaos. Sparrow would be in a sense a mass murderer. WOW...NOW THINK ABOUT THAT A MINUTE....ISN'T THAT A MIND FUCK???
FUCK it is so fucking weird having a split personality...
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In a mirror
stands a girl,
she is blonde
and she is host.
In that mirror
stands a girl,
she is small
and she is young.
Another mirror
stands a girl,
she is mighty
and she is fierce.
Inside a mirror
stands a girl,
she is shy
and she has no voice.
A lone mirror
stands a girl,
she hovers
and she guards.
A single mirror
with many girls
all standing
needing to be heard,
needing to be seen...
S
Good post!
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