The Octopus

So I have decided to legally change my name to Sparrow.  Legally it is still Melissa.  But I am no longer Melissa, and for the past 3 yrs I have been called Sparrow by my friends and some of my family.

I sent emails to my family telling them of my decision.  Most everyone was okay about it.   My dad, called to talk with me.  He said it would be really hard for him to not call me "Missy, or Melissa" because for 50+ yrs that has been my name.  I get that, it takes time for change to be implemented.

But he also talked to me about changing.  He gave me an analogy,
"An Octopus is an octopus, even if you start calling it a catfish, it is still an octopus".    So what he is saying, that no matter what I do for myself:  move away, split from husband, change name, etc, I will still be plain oh "Missy/Melissa".

That crushed my soul.  I am not Melissa, certainly not Missy.  My dad believes no matter what I do or say, I will never change.  I will always be Melissa.   I beg to differ.

My cousin said it would be hard for her as my father (Gary, bio dad) named me the name "Melissa".  I informed her that was not true, as my mom found my name in a magazine after I was born.  She had no name for me, and neither did my bio-dad.  I was named after a person in a fucking magazine.   THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL OR SENTIMENTAL ABOUT MY NAME.

So why keep it?  I hate it, I hate Melissa.   Melissa was a sad excuse for a person.   Sparrow is new.  She has her own identity and she is happy and free.   I have been born again.  I am Sparrow now.  I cringe inside when someone calls me Melissa....that is how much I fucking hate that name.  I will be so glad when I can get to the courts and change that horrible name.

I am also dropping my middle name "Anne".  I will just be Sparrow.

I mean, why not?  who the fuck cares, certainly not my mother, she could give a shit what I called myself...

So, Sparrow is NOT an octopus.  She is a bird, flying free..

S