There once was the little girl, who lived in a little house, in a little town, with a little sister. This little girl, was alone, all the time. She had to sneak avenues of pleasure, sneak play, sneak TV, sneak eat...this little girl loved to watch TV. And after she was sent to bed, often times, she would sneak into the hallway where she could see TV uninterrupted.
One evening after dinner, the TV was on. And he was there on the couch watching it. The mom had finished cleaning up the dinner dishes and came into the living room. From her room just down the hall, she could hear their voices getting louder, then the TV got louder, she heard yelling, but she also heard the TV, and the show that was on was one she liked to watch when she could.
So she snuck into the hall and scooted to the area that she could watch the TV show undetected. She soon was able to partially block out the yelling, and drunken swearing to watch the show.
She saw his fist strike her mother hard in the shoulder, she tried to concentrate on the TV show. She heard the loud thud as her mom was thrown to the floor....she heard the scraping of her mothers feet against the floor...it looked to the girl that her mom was trying to run laying flat on her back... She couldn't help but watch as the dad, kicked her and raped her. She couldn't help but see him grab handfuls of her hair and beat her head against the floor..She wanted to run to her mom, but her feet would not move...she watched as her mom raised up her head and bit the dad in the face...She couldn't hear if her mom was crying, the TV was too loud...but she could hear him, see him, his huge gross sloppy body over her mother...she could only see her moms feet "run"..
He got up and spat on her mom and walked into the bedroom and slammed the door. He walked right past the little girl...she was invisible.
She ran to her mom and reached out to touch her, to see if she was okay, alive...but her mother just slapped her hand away.
On the TV "Get Smart" was almost over....they had defeated the enemy, once again.
That was the day, Kaos was born.
S
I've just discovered I have D.I.D. Its not easy for me or my alters. As you read these blog entries, some are by me and some are by them. Each one us expressing a moment of joy or frustration as we learn to adapt to our new life and flood of bad memories.
Sunday, May 17, 2020
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