dreams

So a weird thing happened.  I had a dream.  In this dream, I was a little girl, and I was outside, on the side of a white house, playing with mud...making mud pies, like little kids have done forever....but in this dream, I am all alone.  I am playing alone, with no friends.  HMMMMMMM

My question is this:  do alters dream, do they have their own dream sequence...like I, Sparrow, does.  Are my dreams mine, or are they one of the alters?  Are different type dreams, my different alters?

In the dream, the little girl had shortish reddish curly hair.  My ally sees herself as a little curly haired redhead.  Was Ally dreaming? was she dreaming she was playing with mud?  and if it was her, why do I remember the dream???  I don't know or remember whenever she is fronting.

Can alters "front" in my dreams????

The alters can and do control my emotions, they can control my decisions, and they can operate without my knowledge in public situations:  for example:

Once in the store,  I walked by the toy section...Just looking for kids toys for my grandsons...I did not buy anything, just browsed.
When I got home and was putting away the merchandise I had purchased...I came across two small plastic horses (toys).  I, Sparrow, did not purchase them...did I steal them?  
So, I looked at my receipt and there they were, bought and paid for...but I have no memory of putting them in my cart, scanning them at the register and bringing them home.  
Ally did that....

But how the fuck did "Sparrow" not see them?   I remember going to the store, buying the merchandise, browsing the toy section, but not actually picking up the toys, placing them in my basket and paying for them...

Its like I was blind...

This has happened before, with a doll bed, and other smallish items.   
Does this happen to others with DID?   
It is different than black outs.  With a black out, I remember nothing, not going to the store, not doing this or that, the whole situation is blank.......
but I remember the store, buying some things, going to the toy section, but I don't remember the one little part "getting the horses".

When I fly into a rage, I remember getting mad, angry, I remember feeling so wound up inside....but I do not remember if I harm myself...I will notice marks on me, and not remember putting them there...that would have been Sophie.  Again, I remember small parts of the picture, but not the whole thing.

with Music, I will remember listening to music, I will remember songs that play, but if Sammy comes out, I don't remember her dancing,  I loose track of time,  then all of the sudden its 20 minutes later or whatever...I am dancing around and the music is still on, but playing another song....

It is so fucking bizarre how my head works....my advocate says this type of behavior has been going on since I was a small child.  How could others not see this???  Now that my advocate knows my situation, he watches me and can tell when one of the alters is fronting, or around...he can see the "subtle changes" in my demeanor.   I guess others in my life just chalked up those subtle changes as just "quirkiness" on my part.

Each alter evidently has their own mannerisms.  Like individual people have theirs.  And learning those mannerisms help in discerning who is fronting....and why..

I am learning that my alters flit in and out all the time...they mimic me, but the only ones who would notice are the ones that really watch me, know me and are observant.  

In the case of Ally buying those horses...its like my eyes were shielded and I literally didn't see myself scanning and putting those toys in the bag....did Ally shield my eyes..did she front for that couple of seconds it took to purchase those, then leave while I finished the rest?   I DON'T KNOW...HAVING ALTERS IS SO CONVOLUTED.

Talk about a mind fuck....try having alters!

S