So I am going to try and write about each of my alters. What I know about them.
Lilly: the first I was aware of:
age progressed from 8 yrs to 19 yrs old (as memories/trauma is dealt with, she grows older)
left-handed
was thought to be originally a demon
serious, seems angry alot
hears everything going on around her
can drive a car
she has a low voice
protector
female (sissy)
takes my memories away, gives me memories
can control my heart rate
can control my breathing
can take away or mask pain
she has proclaimed that all of us are one...
has different facial features (her eyes get dark)
Ally: (the second I was aware of)
6-9 yrs old
female
left-handed
always happy
never sleepy
sees everything around her
bait (she would take punishments for others, siblings)
stress relief
loves to play
facial features change when she is fronting (higher cheekbones, brighter eyes, carries herself different
voice change
Sammy:
does not speak
uses sign language to talk
right-handed
female
20's?
can drive a car
loves music and dancing
very modest, bashful, shy
(had deaf friend, Sylvia as child)
-this is an evolving memory...
Sophie:
angry, mean spirited
calls sparrow names
writes wicked words with sharpie on sparrow
hurts sparrow, with physical violence (self harm) and hurtful s speech.
right handed
female
age (?)
throws stuff, breaks dishes and objects
There is another alter we are discovering. But this one does not have a name...just gave an "adjective", which I do not know yet. she told Kevin, who has not told me yet. So I know zero about this one.
Then there is Melissa (host?)
57 yrs old
ambidextrous
animal lover
mother, wife, girlfriend, memaw
christian, church goer
bisexual (closet)
volunteer advocate
loves tattoos
short hair only
gymnast
Then there is Sparrow (an alter??)
my identity
host, now?
single
writer
BDSM
57 yrs old, adult
pagan, wiccan
boomer
independent
wild and loose
long blonde curly hair
bisexual
submissive to Kevin
tattoos
girly girl
hates christianity with an unnatural zeal
voyeur
So far, this is all I know. Are there more alters? who the fuck knows, but they are slowly coming out, fronting.
I've just discovered I have D.I.D. Its not easy for me or my alters. As you read these blog entries, some are by me and some are by them. Each one us expressing a moment of joy or frustration as we learn to adapt to our new life and flood of bad memories.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
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the Tent
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