WHY is it so fucking hard for me to get a good nights sleep? Between having to pee every 2 hours, this fucking itching business, then I am hot and I am cold, a noise wakes me up, my fucking dreams wake me up. I can't get comfortable..I am not getting good sleep.
I can't turn my brain off at night, even though I shut down the motor of my body to rest, my brain refuses to shut down...it keeps humming right along.
My head is a fucking spaghetti bowl of conversation and thoughts, twisting and winding all over eachother until they make no fucking sense at all.....
I sleep walk too.....some mornings things are different in my house. Am I sleep walking or is it a fucking alter wrecking my nights sleep?
It has been three nights now that I have slept for shit. It is starting to take its toll on my body....my eyes feel gritty...I feel super irritated...sounds are much louder in my head than in reality...I feel myself diving head first into that fuck depression....
I feel like I could lay my head on my pillow and fall fast into a deep sleep....but in reality, I feel this way, but when I lay down, my eyes pop open and will not close...my brain will not close...my body becomes uncomfortable, itchy, achy...I can't get comfortable enough....horrible thoughts flood me, paranoia begins, violent thoughts start to develop, when I do dream they are anxiety ridden dreams, nightmares that wake me up....I am starting to get all whiny and tearful...crying in frustration...
If these are my alters fucking with my sleep...then they must hate me....I hate them.
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