DID

DID...disassociative Identity Disorder, or MPD Multiple Personality Disorder. DID is not PANIC ATTACKS, or depression or by-polar...It happens when as a small child, that child experienced such extreme abuse that their small brain fractures into identies (invisible friends) to help them endure what ever is happening. If the abuse is constant and years of it, the split is permanent. In my blog, I talk about the extreme physical, sexual, and emotional, verbal abuse I had as a child into adulthood. I have survived all these years because of my "girls".....period. I think they are all girls anyway....I am just now learning how to deal with all this. All the extreme negative posts I put on facebook, slamming myself as stupid or suicidal...that is not Sparrow. That is my alter, Sophie. She hates me...I also have one that is non-verbal and speaks only with sign language. I have another that is nameless, and can be very violent...then their is Ally, my little. And one name Lilly who I think is the "Host" or most influencial....I am beginning to think Sparrow is also an alter.....but not sure.I am patiently trying to figure all this at....and learn to live with all of them. Kevin is perfect. All my alters trust him and for the first time ever, have actually came out and met him and talk with him....He can tell each one, as my voice changes, my facial features change, my habits and demeaner changes. Lilly can control pain, and my heart rate and breathing....I know Lilly and Ally are left handed, Sophie is right handed...don't know about the others, not yet. Also one of them may even have a heart murmur...

These personalities only present when they are "triggered", so I am trying to learn what triggers each one to present. A trigger could be a song, a word or phrase, smell, movie, word, really anything.

Please, if you think having different personalities is a sham, or just PTSD or made up...YOU ARE WRONG. If you think that, please do not post anything negative or demeaning or anything that makes me feel bad....I AM NOT LYING...There is proof. If you still are having a hard time with this, please call Kevin or talk with him, he can better explain all of this....

I hope we can all still be friends...but if this freaks you out, I will not be offended if you unfriend me. (by the way, the more angry and violent alters all turn on me, never anybody else..they have cracked bones, burned me, cut me, bruised me, written horrble fucking words in sharpie all over my body...cut words into my arms etc.....and literally tried to get me to kill myself, many many times....it is scary, but now that I know I am not fucking crazy, Kevin and I both will be better able to control them, I hope,. anyhoo, my kids don't know yet, and my husband will just probably go into his office and try and pray them away....fuck