my childhood was riddled with physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse....right through the age of 16.....when you read about the "Bunny" or "puppy" or parking garage etc entries you will see how fucked my life was...even though I am writing in third person, it is me...I am that little girl....
he has his fingers on my vagina.
The man that I thought was my dad...who did all those awful fuck things to me is dead......I found his grave....he died in 2007...the same year my bio dad died...almost a month to the day....both "dads" died within a month of each other....he, my step dad, had been arrested and convicted numerous times for DUI....he was a fuck drunk when I was a kid and a fuck drunk his entire life...I hope he suffered horribly in his death.
The man who was my "boyfriend" in South Carolina, the one who did horrible Satanic ritualistic physical and sexual abuse on me...His father...who was a fuck twisted person....that man, age 60 now, is in prison. He has multiple convictions up and down the east coast for pedophilia and sexual assault to minors...failure to register as a sexual offender and who knows what other fuck....He has been in prison since 1994...I hope he rots there and is abused and battered viciously by other inmates...I want him to be somebodys bitch.
Finding out these things, have not been closure for me....they are vindication that all the memories and feelings I have been having my entire life WERE TRUE...but now, I know they happened for sure and I feel even worse....I feel sick, damaged, dirty, used, sad, guilty, angry.
More memories are pouring out of my head....I swear I feel like I am suffocating....I don't know what to do with them...where do I put these new fuck memories??? I am drowning....
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