fuck, my head is so going nuts.....the floodgates of memories are pouring out and I am barely having time to breath....
the more I remember, the worse my life gets.....my past.....sometimes I think it can't get any worse, then it does....
the plus is: the two main villains are either in prison or dead...so that is good news....but still, can't make this shit up....
every time I remember something, we investigate it to make sure it is true, and fuck....its true.....
there are a couple of memories, I remember one way, but then find out , yes it did happen, but not in the way I remember....but still was vindicated in my memory....
My biggest fear now, is when and if I take steps to become public and approach certain people, what will happen? One of those I have to confront is my own mother.....fuck....then my entire family and friends and the world....
this is the scariest part....do I want to destroy the life and memories of others over something that happened over 40 years ago??? I am just thankful beyond measure that my daddy is dead....his heart would be so broken if he knew...but then again, I wish he was here because I need answers from him and my still-living mother...
or should I just let sleeping dogs sleep.....
No comments:
Post a Comment