So embarrassing

So, I am looking at my bank account.  I check it almost everyday and have found errors with unauthorized purchases and got those cleared up....

today I look, and there is a purchase for almost 150.00 at Target.   I remember going to Target but my purchase was 119.00 ish, not 150....on my account it shows my purchase, but also the 150.00 purchase.   So I called the customer service line of my Redcard.   They pull up the receipt for the 150 bill....

I DID BUY ALL THOSE ITEMS he was reading to me, but I have NO FUCKING MEMORY OF EVER DOING THAT PARTICULAR SHOPPING SPREE....

The bill was mine....I felt like such a fucking asshole dork for calling and asking....I remember going once to Target, but not twice in the same week.....that particular visit is gone from my memory...

WHY???? WHY DO I REMEMBER ONE VISIT BUT NOT THE OTHER...

I am so fucking stupid...I must have sounded so stupid and ignorant to the person on the phone...I must have sounded like I was just trying to get out of a bill....I WAS NOT.   

This is my life, sometimes I remember and some times I don't.  Its a fucking crap shoot what I might remember or what I will forget...

forgetting shit like this, makes me feel so stupid, so dumb, so blonde, so ignorant....I hate that my mind is fucked....I hate someone explaining something to me as if I were a child...

I once was smart, intelligent, with an above average IQ score...Now I am nothing but a stupid forgetful idiot, muddling through life like a goddamn moron.   

Its shit like this, that throws me into my fuck depression...It depresses me so much that I am not the smart woman I once was,  I am nothing now, but a fucking walking head case...stupid as fuck for sure....nothing more than a fuck and roll in the hay for some dick.....don't have to be smart for that.....