How do people love themselves? I wish I knew the trick...because I literally hate every aspect of myself.
I hate my hair, my body, my mouth, my nose, my mind, my heart, my size, everything about me I hate.....
I hate that I navigate, three personalities, I hate being three people...that is a fucked up mind...a fucked up life...a freak
everything I touch breaks, or goes sour,. Nothing works out for me in the long run....I sabotage everything. I sabotaged my marriage, my kids, my jobs, my relationships all....with my head,,,,
I find comfort in beating myself up...getting what I deserve...hurting myself so others don't have too....I am broken,.
a million little pieces of me scattered everywhere, stepped on, torn up and thrown in the trash....the trash that is my soul...
I cannot be loved, I cannot love...I am a fucking zombie with three heads...I am just amusement and a challenge for others, a curiosity to be explored....a medical freak....side show attraction...
In fact...its now time to stop crying....stuff the sadness way down deep and don't let it bother me again. I am putting up my walls, I am drying up my tears...I am a robot now, not human... Tears are for real people...I am not even human....
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