When

I keep thinking that my family will realize I am not the Missy/Melissa that they know or knew...Its been almost 2 yrs since I left and changed my name to Sparrow.    I am no longer that woman, Melissa...she had very short and spikey hair, it was brown...Sparrow has shoulder length blonde hair.   Melissa wore clothes that her husband approved....Sparrow wears whatever the fuck she wants...Sparrow is a free spirit with a free will...she makes her decisions and has no one to tell her what she can or can't do...

My parents refuse to call me Sparrow.   My sister and x husband refuse to accept that I can't remember shit....I am ridiculed for forgetting events or times or whatever, I get "I told you already..." or shit like that....all the time...

My family assumes that I know everything that is going on in Oklahoma all the time....even though I live 1000 miles away and NO ONE tells me anything...I rarely get texts from the kids, I don't kn ow what the fuck the grandsons are doing...My parents don't call, so I don't know what the fuck they are doing...and I don't know what the fuck my sister or brothers are doing either...NO ONE talks to me....pretty much like it was when I was Melissa...

I kinda feel like I am in the witness protection program...I am so far away...name changed....appearance change....even automobile has changed...its like no one converses with me unless it is short and too the point...no chit chat....no love or anything like that...just cut and dry....

None of my family have come to visit me....they expect me to visit them....none of them have taken any interest in my new life...

Instead of my family getting behind me and supporting me through all the brain damage and issues and tumors and surgeries etc...and working with the memory loss and personality change and supporting me and adapting and accepting the new me...they have chosen to cast me aside.....I am not important enough to them for them to even try and understand me...FUCK THEM...

I have two cousins that call me Sparrow and somewhat support and love me....but they do not go out of their way to keep me in the folds of the family or visit me...thats okay...at least they call me "Sparrow"...that is more than my own immediate family will...

When will I not feel like an abandoned orphan?  When will my family accept me and love me again?  When will I feel a part of something again?  

It is fucking sad that the only people who accept the new me, are the ones that didn't know the old me....so to them, I am Sparrow...that is all they know....but they are friends...
Its hurts that friends accept and love me as I am, but my family cannot....When will that ever change???  WHEN...