Fears to Joy

Everyone has fears....fear of spiders, snakes, heights etc...
I don't fear those types of things, well maybe "falling" like from great heights...but that is a fucking safety issue!! 

I fear rejection.  
I fear humiliation.
I fear losing, everything...
For me, the glass is always half empty...the other shoe is about to drop..if it's too good to be true...nobody truly can love....because love is pain, rejection, betrayal, humiliation...all in the name of love...
I fear love.
I fear laying open my soul, to someone else...
I fear revealing every aspect of myself, body, soul, and emotion..
I fear being alone..

Why do I feel this way?  
Why can't I trust honesty?
I am crippled by this mindfuck...I am crippled by doubt...distrust...suspicion...fear...pain...

I have voices in my head that have told me, my entire life..."hide"..."keep secrets"..."trust nobody"...and experience has proven this to be true...don't reveal yourself, your real self...protect your mind....fear others....or you will regret it...and I have...tried to trust, love...only to be smashed to smithereens....

Goddess teach me trust, true honest pure trust...with no hesitation, no regrets and no fear of destruction...show me that there is no hypocrisy with trust.

Goddess show me real love....show me how to love myself  and to love back,  give me virgin love....
Take away the memories, take away the hurt...take away the hate...
Purge me, Goddess, of my fears, purge me of myself....
turn my fears to joy...