A year

So, it has been a year since I moved away from Oklahoma and settled in Virginia.  Alot has happened.   A lot has changed.  I am finally learning my way around, I still get lost, but not as much.   I am still amazed by the beauty of the mountains, the green green green of the trees, and grass.   I love seeing the wildlife everywhere, sitting on my treehouse balcony, I see raccoons, deer, snakes, all kinds of birds, a black bear occasionally, squirrels, chipmonks.  I live very close to a lake, so I purchased Kayaks and kayak the river and lakes,  I love the outdoors.  Who knew??

Not only has my scenery changed from flat land to mountainous land, but my physical appearance has changed.

My hair is grown out, no longer short.  I have lost 20 pounds, so I am alot smaller...my clothing has changed, I no longer have to dress like a preachers wife, I can dress anyway I choose,  I don't have to attend church or act like a "christian", I don't have to worry about offended family with my non church ways...I can walk around naked in my own house, with the windows open and not get lectured about "someone might see me"....OMG, I don't have to be a fucking prude anymore.  I can eat when and where and how I feel, don't have to be on any kind of schedule....I can watch any movie I want without having to mute the sound because of cuss words, and if I wanna watch porn or a movie with sex and nudity, I CAN...If I want to play my rock music loud, I can....I no longer have a babysitter and fucking rules.....I can go to a bar, have a drink or too and not get lectured when I get home....I no longer have to please anybody but myself.    

Maybe that sounds all selfish and shit, but 34 yrs living with your dad/husband/christian/rule maker/guilt giver/roomate who has so many fucking damn rules and no room for negotiation or compromise...I might of as well been in prison....leaving Oklahoma and my husband was the HANDS DOWN BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE...

I am learning to live with brain tumors and injury and the other issues I have,  I am adapting to my new space of life.  I have people around me here who take care of me, helping me to adapt my apartment and life in a way that I can be independent.  Live independently and I am!!!  In Oklahoma, my husband did not let me learn to live in my new head, I had to follow his rules and learn to live and adapt to his stupid fuck rules...this destroyed us.   

Now I am free.    A year has passed so quickly, it has been so hard at times, like when my grandson died....the trips back to Oklahoma for that were gut wrenching....I am so thankful I had my mountain home to come back too....

I don't know what this next year will bring....but I know one thing...I am never going back to Oklahoma.  Virginia is now my home...