What is the fucking deal with me not being able to sleep? Ever since my radiation surgery on my brain 9 yrs ago, I have stopped sleeping. I can fall to sleep, but within an hour or two I am awake and cannot go back to sleep. On average I would say I get maybe 2 to 3 hours of sleep. I do not get the REM sleep that the body needs. Maybe this is why I have fucking headaches every single goddamn day.
I bet if I could actually sleep, like a normal person, then I would not have the headaches I have.
I have tried everything:
ambient noise (white noise)
earplugs
black out curtains
OTC sleeping meds
melatonin
getting drunk
sex
You name it, I have tried it. I can fall asleep, but I don't stay asleep, and that is the whole fucking problem. Even if I take a handful of pain pills, I still will not even pass out or go to sleep.
I want to sleep so bad......I would be a much better person, if I could just fucking shut my goddamn eyes and go to fucking sleep.....but I can't.
That makes me a dumb fuck, sleep deprived monster....
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