WHY is it that I can be happy, and content one day....then the very next morning I wake up with a sense of doom and sadness??????
My heart can feel full one minute, then running on empty the next...
How do people stay content and happy???? Why can't I??????
WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO SUFFER THIS FUCKING DEPRESSION??????? Its not fair....
I would rather have a physical ailment to suffer with, but when its your goddamn fucking brain, nothing can be done....I am a hopeless fucking mind freak....
DEPRESSION IS NOT ABOUT NOT HAVING THINGS AND STUFF......
I have a beautiful place to live
I have a super sweet, paid for, brand new jeep.
I have money and no debt.
I live in the most beautiful place on earth
I am doing and experiencing new things...
I am physically pretty healthy, over all
My kids are good, and thriving and well...
BUT:
MY MIND is crippled and deformed...One minute I am "normal" the next I am "abnormal"..... it's almost like flipping a switch...
All these celebrities who have "everything" on the outside, but inside their brains they are "defective"....depression would strike them even if they were destitute...Depression and mental illness does not give a rats ass who or what you are.....
DEPRESSION is a plague, a killer of spirit and body...Its a silent enemy who stalks and preys, getting ready to strike at any moment, without pause or mercy...Depression hates the person...and only wants to destroy you....
MY STALKER IS DEPRESSION
It stalks me in my sleep, in my dreams, in my day to day activities...it hides in the shadows waiting.....for just the right time to jump, the right time to destroy me....
Depression uses confusion, anger and frustration as weapons...AND IT WIELDS THEM WELL....
The worse thing about depression??? it is invisible...nobody sees it, so therefore it is not real.....DEPRESSION IS AN INVISIBLE KILLER, A MASS MURDERER...
I hate me.....
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