No future

Well this is my life.   __________________________, nothing.

I have no job, no friends, no family.  I have effectively boxed myself into a corner.   Its just me and my dog, day in and day out.  

I can't get a job, because of my fucking head shit.  I am now to stupid to be able to hold a job or anything.   Even if I found a volunteer job, I would just fucking blow that and be asked to leave...

I really am useless to society.   This is my day:

get up, get on the computer and act like everything is peachy...wander around the apartment, flip TV stations, take Boomer out periodically.  sometimes take him to the park...go to various appointments, then come back and stare at the four walls....

I have one friend here, but on their days off, they just want to sleep and veg out.   I can only sit around watching TV for so long...but they have a job.  So of course, on their day off they want to do nothing...

I thought by leaving my husband and OK, that I could be free and finally have a life....WHAT A FUCK SHIT THING TO THINK.  

I could have stayed in Oklahoma and been miserable.  Now I am 1000 miles away from everything I know,  and I am miserable.  

I have tried various times to meet people, get to know someone, but there is no body here for me....I had only one girl, that I invited over and over to go places with me, but she won't.  So, okay.  

I literally have no future, except death.   I have nothing to live for, save maybe my dog.  I do not do alone well....

I am thinking about ending my life....