Love?

LOVE is a fucking awful word..What the fuck does it even mean???

I love dogs

I love beer

I love my kids

I love pain

love love love

I fucking hate that word...Using the word "love" is exactly like saying "I will pray for you..."  just a fucking pat word, pat answer, to console or manipulate...

Love just stabs and mutilates the heart..

I looked up the word "love" in the dictionary...it had over 23 different connotations...love your kids, sexual love, affection etc...

The word "love" is just another word for "hypocrite"...saying love to someone can mean any fucking thing...just like hypocrites, they say "this and that" but the meaning behind it is left for interpretation...

Saying "I  love you" to another person, is just patting them on the back to make them feel better...to give false hope or encouragement, when really "love" is just not.

Love...does not heal, help, or do  anything positive...in the end it hurts, cuts, and is not real...love is betrayal of the heart, betrayal of the mind..

I am taking that word, out of my vocabulary...it is vulgar and offensive to me.....

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I wrote the above in the midst of an inappropriate emotional response to a positive word/emotion......this is me...my insecurities and fear and knee jerk actions, my emotional abuse I inflict upon myself....a statement of my "fear of being loved, completely and truly.." I battle these raw thoughts and emotions..they consume me and fucking cloud my mind...so I vent...often putting my foot in my mouth...only I do not apologize...because I know I will do it again..I will not be a hypocrite...