Painstaking Search
painstaking numbness, overcomes her in waves
she realizes there is no reality, in her mind...
but she feels no shock
she sees her lips move, but no sound reaches her ears
so she imagines conversation...
then her numbness breaks...
noises crush her senses...
she struggles to understand the message
but, she is only left standing, holding a secret
she does not understand
she wishes for obscurity, experiencing knowledge
that eats away at her self-esteem, her soul
she searches for an oblivion to call her own..
that painstaking search for numbness..
------------------------------------------------------------------
Forbidden
rain falls softly,
tears roll down a face,
dropping slowly to the ground
feelings that belong to somebody else
mistaken love, a broken identity
misty rain, slow rolling clouds
changing moods, a rose without petals
reach out, but never allowed to touch
forbidden thoughts, forbidden past
roses that never bloom
a love, stifled,
red roses, bleeding roses, thorns that cut
rain and roses
tears and thorns....
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Cover Feelings
I cover feelings, I lie about pain
I color over memories to spare others
I smile, when I want to scream
afraid of the turmoil inside
I exaggerate happiness
I present gaity, when I wrap up gloom
I lie about achievements, to cover disasters
I lift others up, as I am falling
I soothe others hurt, when I am bleeding inside
I give to others, as I take from myself
I try to protect my family
when I am so vulnerable
I have a brave front
It hides the coward inside...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Outbreaks of silence
rising up, amidst the storm
waves all around, currents pulling here, there..
yet she floats, suspended in space
darkness flickers the light, into brilliance
yet she floats
sounds of wind, whistle and whine
moaning in the distance, the frail soul,
amidst the storm...
I've just discovered I have D.I.D. Its not easy for me or my alters. As you read these blog entries, some are by me and some are by them. Each one us expressing a moment of joy or frustration as we learn to adapt to our new life and flood of bad memories.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
the Tent
You know, as much as I complain about being lonely and isolated, I enjoy my solitude so much. I enjoy being able to get away to my own sp...
-
So I have decided to legally change my name to Sparrow. Legally it is still Melissa. But I am no longer Melissa, and for the past 3 yrs I ...
-
So lots have been going on....first and foremost, this hurricane....I feel so bad for Florida and the Carolinas.we here in VA, at Roanoke, ...
-
So, yesterday, monday the 11th was my dads actual birthdate. The family threw a party for him the day before, that i was not aware of. Bu...
No comments:
Post a Comment